What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you know what she said mum?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Should I have left it alone and kept quiet? I came out as gay to my adult kids last week. Age 61 married 15 years, divorced for 20. I feel so guilty for ruining their lives by living a lie.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What do you mean son?

Why have Indian girls almost stopped wearing sarees?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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True - how I loved my mum!

What! how could you do that?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

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Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?